Things only a Republican could believe
Posted by admin | Filed under Humor, Politics
This one is blatantly (and shamelessly) stolen from Reddit, but it was just too good to pass up.
Things Only a Republican Could Believe:
- Parents who don’t want their children to pray in school are Anti-American zealots — parents who don’t want their children to listen to a speech by the President of the United States telling them to work hard and get good grades are noble patriots.
- Peacefully demonstrating against the country starting an international war is treason — showing up with automatic weapons to protest healthcare reform is democracy at its finest.
- Any government official with a desk job should have every action scrutinized — any government official with a badge and a gun should never be questioned or disrespected. At all. Ever.
- Questioning the legitimacy of an election because the “winner” was selected by the Supreme Court is sour grapes — questioning the legitimacy of an election because the winner (by the largest number of votes in American history) is really a Kenyan born Muslim despite all evidence to the contrary is being a vigilant American.
- Lying about a blowjob is an impeachable offense — lying about a war is no big deal, really.
- Investigating a shady land deal involving the First Lady is a matter of National Identity — investigating the use of torture at the direction of the Executive Branch is a partisan witch hunt.
- Executing Japanese officers for waterboarding prisoners during WWII shows that we have the moral high-ground on human rights — waterboarding prisoners of our shows that we have the moral high-ground on human rights.
- Sitting two rows in front of Jane Fonda in a 1970 anti-war rally is an OUTRAGE! Shaking Saddam’s hand in 1983…meh, not so much.
- Anyone who questions the president during a time of war is giving aide and comfort to the enemy and should be deported…unless the president in question has a (D) next to their name in which case you should undermine them at every turn even if you have to routinely make shit up to do it.
- Socialism, Marxism, Communism and Fascism are all interchangeable words that mean pretty much the same thing.
- Anyone who abuses drugs should be locked up indefinitely…unless they are a popular Republican radio host in which case they need your prayers as they recover from the illness of addiction.
- Health Insurance companies have your best interests in mind and anyone who thinks otherwise is trying to turn America into the Godless heathen nation of Sweden where EVERYONE in the country dies (eventually).
- Obama is an atheist communist muslim who attended a radical christian church.
- Believing that human activity could impact the global environment is crazy talk — believing that an invisible man in the sky personally told George Bush to invade Iraq to fulfill Biblical prophecy is logically sound.
- The verdict is still out on evolution — but Jesus Christ returning in our lifetimes is a pretty much a given.
- The media are unquestionably biased against Republicans — Talk Radio, The Washington Times, The Weekly Standard, The Wall Street Journal, Rightwing Blogs, Fox News and NewsCorp are not part of the media.
- The government should have no part in regulating multi-national corporations as they make decisions that impact the lives of millions of people — government should regulate individuals by determining who they can marry, what kind of intercourse they can have, what they can smoke, how to manage their pregnancy and how to proceed with end of life decisions.
- Communicating with hostile nations is a stab in the back to our great nation — Reagan communicating with the USSR during the Cold War was Political Genius.
- Iran is a mortal threat to our nation and anyone who attempts to talk to them is traitorous scum — selling weapons to Iran and then funneling the money to start wars in South America is clearly in our National interest.
- George Bush kept the nation safe after 9-11 (NOTE: the Anthrax attacks, the DC Sniper and Hurricane Katrina don’t count. Also, the fact that 9-11 happened on his watch despite receiving a security briefing specifically warning of the attack doesn’t count either.)
- Social Security, Meidcare, public schooling, public libraries, fire departments, police departments and the US Military are as American as Apple Pie — universal healthcare is ZOMGDEATHPANELSOCIALISM!!
- George W Bush is a regular ‘ole Texas rancher just like you and me despite the fact that he was born in Connecticut, attended two Ivy League schools, bought the Crawford ranch just before running for president, sold it immediate after leaving office and is terrified of horses.
- The two guys at the center of the Watergate and Iran-Contra scandals are trustworthy voices in discussions of current national policy and should be taken at face-value.
In closing, I do need to point out this disclaimer (in the words of the author of this post — but it is true for me as well).
“I make no apologies if you consider yourself a Republican. I am a registered Independent and have voted Republican at various levels of government, but the current crop of Republicans at the national level are off the reservation. To call them bat shit crazy would be an insult to bat shit.”
Steve Austria is an idiot
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Well, U.S. Representative Steve Austria (R -OH) comes forth to illustrate the stupidity that seems to be growing in the Republican party.
“When (President Franklin) Roosevelt did this, he put our country into a Great Depression,” Austria said. “He tried to borrow and spend, he tried to use the Keynesian approach, and our country ended up in a Great Depression. That’s just history.” — Columbus Dispatch
Somehow, I think Austria failed to pay attention during history class in school. If I recall correctly, The Great Depression is considered to have begun late in 1929 and FDR took office in March of 1933. Heh, he must have been far more powerful and influential as Governor of New York than I or anyone else (except for Steve Austria) realized.
Now, I just heard this morning on local talk radio that the Dispatch, one of the more reliably conservative newspapers in Ohio (often overwhelmingly so) is a “liberal rag” and a “media tool”. Way to go conservatives!!
Ron Howard’s Call to Action
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Stolen from Funny or Die. Not stupid — just good.
And people want him for President?
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Another McCain “senior” moment.
Terry Tate vs Sarah Palin
Posted by admin | Filed under Humor, Politics
Enjoy!!
Tags: Palin
Why does it always deal with Ohio?
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Some anti-Obama types now seem to think that Obama wants to create his own flag. However they apparently didn’t pay much attention in school.
From the October 15 edition of WABC Radio’s Bob Grant Show:
GRANT: Let me ask you this question, since you are aware of patriotic symbols. Maybe you don’t know the answer. I’ll be frank. I don’t know the answer to this one, but what is that flag that Obama’s been standing in front of that looks like an American flag, but instead of having the field of 50 stars representing the 50 states, there’s a circle? Would someone please tell me what that is? Is the circle –
CALLER: Well, I thought it was our new flag.
GRANT: — the “O” for Obama? Is that what it is?
CALLER: I thought it was our new flag. I thought we now instituted a new one under Obama, because we’re going to change everything, and none of it is gonna be positive. And do people’s mindset that Palin would be any kind of an adverse person around nuclear weapons, when you have somebody who has absolute deceived everybody from his onset of his life –
GRANT: All right, Sue. I want to thank you very much for your call. It’s a pleasure to hear from someone who’s paying attention to what’s going on out there.
But really folks, did you notice Obama is not content with just having several American flags, plain old American flags with the 50 states represented by 50 stars? He has the “O” flag. And that’s what that “O” is. That’s what that “O” is. Just like he did with the plane he was using. He had the flag painted over, and the “O” for Obama. Now, these are symptom — these things are symptomatic of a person who would like to be a potentate — a dictator. And I really see this in this man.
Hey, I could be wrong. But I wouldn’t say this on this great radio station if I didn’t think there was some merit in this conjecture. And I stress conjecture. And so much of what we talk about is conjecture, is theory, is opinion based on intuition, based on some facts, based on some history.
I don’t want to overdramatize this. Being dramatic, I must confess, does come easy to some of us, because, maybe that’s why we’re in this business. It is show business, is it not? I know some of my colleagues don’t want to admit that, but they are the greatest showmen in the world. And I tell you this. I tell you this quite seriously. I am alarmed at the prospect of his election. I — I would hope that if he is elected, that I could come before you one day and say, “Hey, there was no need to be alarmed, I was wrong.”
Because I care about the United States of America and what future we may have much more than I care about being right or being wrong, having my candidate win or having my candidate lose. I want to know how many of you people think about the significance of the election.
Well, as Media Matters and even Michelle Malkin noted — it’s not an “Obama flag”, it’s the Ohio state flag
The so-called Obama flag
The Ohio flag
I realize that with Obama looking like the election winner, some people need to grasp at straws but, come on, don’t let your stupid show while you are doing it.
Oh, and more on the same topic from Townhall.com 2 days later (showing that the stupids are not a short-lived problem)
American Flag
At an Ohio campaign stop last week Obama gave a speech with a background of American flags which is quite common. However, if you look closely some of the flags are not American flags. The blue field has been changed to show an Obama seal. Yes, there are also stars but have no pattern and they do not add up to 50.With Obama making his own seal and now this it looks like maybe he is putting some credence to the recent article by Stanley Kurtz in the National Review. Is he planning on creating an African county within the US.
I think the presence of these flags should be viewed with alarm. And I don’t want to hear any looney left comments that they are only decoration. They ARE a modification of the American Flag.
Now TownHall.com has a click to flag a comment as offensive. Where do I click to flag a comment as stupid?
Still more ignorance from my home state
Posted by admin | Filed under Politics
Toledo, Ohio — October 13, 2008
Posted by admin | Filed under Politics
Sometimes I just cringe . . .
Tags: Politics
